THE FULL DISCLAIMER
This web-site is intended for entertainment and possibly educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited by law. The views expressed on this site are not necessarily those of Jon Woods’ former employer, or anyone with any sense, for that matter. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician or pharmacist. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits most. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Components individually tested. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Do not use in shower. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Store in a cool, dry place. Please read instructions before use. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Harmful or fatal if swallowed. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Do not mix old and new batteries. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Certain restrictions apply. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Do not attempt this at home. Prices slightly higher in Alaska and Hawaii. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. Roaming charges extra. No purchase necessary. Based on actual events. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Results not typical, your results may vary. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Professional driver on closed course, do not attempt these maneuvers. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Cannot be sold in California, Massachusetts or New York. Make sure address shows through window. Expect delays. No solicitors. May contain peanut dust. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Do not accept if seal is broken. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Turn once during cooking cycle. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. Past performance does not guarantee future performance. It is not a solicitation, nor an offer to buy or sell any security or derivative. All opinions stated are made in good faith, but there is no guarantee that future results will be profitable. Nap was here. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop.
This supersedes all previous notices.